They didn't hatch, yet you counted them

Original Facebook Date: February 10, 2008

Location: Study - Did I have to light an incense? - Deeply sad

Feeling: Bored

Listening to: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Venice Queen

I am sad. The wheat in my life has gone off away, to a better place.

I never was able to say goodbye.

To you, my small golden carpenter.

Hi folks, this wasn’t a good week for me. Remember all the jolyness from last entry? Well, something killed it. A killing killed it. I’d rather not speak of it.

Beggining by this, the week was going to be horribly beat up by Murphy (and his fucking law) After the march, wich I don’t really know how to analyze now, I got sick, nasty sick. That dying sensation that doesn’t kill you (Makes you stronger? Huh, Nietzsche?). I studied horribly for a history exam that was moved, but thankfuly history is always a nice one. I had very few time to study for our Lengua exam, and I’m not at all sure of how it went. There have been less strange happenings and more annoying ocurrencies. Attacks of desire formented by envy (the human condition, hate it and love it at the same time), and as always, the mysterious lack of will power to achieve. I’m hating mirrors, do I really know anything at all? Well....I suppose not everything has to be cheers and hapiness. Forever is a word that doesn’t exist.

But anyways....

It keeps going. I have plenty exams in the following weeks (And amazingly, I do not worry) I know that they are extremely important in various aspects, and that if I don’t get good grades, I might loose a chance that I may not see again in months. The good things ahead seem to show that what I’m waiting for will be ready for the time we were informed and that I’ll be returning to the nice life and habits I last saw some years ago. I also seem to see a Prospekt coming, a Capitol before my eyes, and mi fingers sliding through the web. I have a very nasty habit. I tend to plan travels very presicely, and seeing things so clear and..well...there. It’s the following, I tend to count the chicks before they hatch (what a nasty but useful metaphor). I have making a very large mental effort no to do this. My work must be at it’s best, so I will live this experience I live in my head (Sometimes they can be SO selfish it sickens me). I must not count the chicks before they hatch. I musn’t. I must give the best of me, I must be the best. But still, when I look deep, deep into these thoughts I find myself alone. Locked (God damit).

I’m thankful to have (few, yet good) friends, without them it would be unbearable.

Oh, as I said in a past entry here’s the poem I wrote for the contest. I don’t really like it, but heck, it’s a shot for the 350,000 pesos worth of books:

Entre las estrellas verde se haya,
Manifiesto está en tres ahora.
El sol va, y viene en misma hora,
Siguiendo la imaginaria raya.

Belleza invisible, la ve un maya.
Bajo mediodía de oro, lo atesora
Cálido y sus ríos, aquí el mora.
Y vive en paraíso, la alegre playa.

Hay canciones de árboles andantes,
Nacimientos de fuentes faraónicas
Y mágicos rocíos de ensueño.

Tierra de las montañas rebosantes,
Sumatra, y leyendas amazónicas.
De esto y más, el trópico es dueño.

Yes, it has métrica, otherwise the judges would think of it as crap. Hopefuly you like it more than I do.

Sharkman, signing off.

PS: A hard week coming, sail through treacherous waters and claim the weekend. See you then.